so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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