I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
