I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
