Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
