i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
