It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
