evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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