I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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