You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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