He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
