Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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