on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
