I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
