Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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