Im at strip club and am horny
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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