i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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