remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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