In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
