Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
