One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
