She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
