Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
