Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
