She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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