I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
