he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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