whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just gargled with NyQuil
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