did you get engaged???
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
