The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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