i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
