I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
