wrigley field is MILF paradise
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
