My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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