I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
