Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
