I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She's not a foreskin expert like you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
