we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
