"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
