This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
