I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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