my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
