haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
