Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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