She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
