she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
