so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
