Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
