you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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