so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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