his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
